What name would you like your interview to appear as? (we are always highly discreet!)
Tomskitten
Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
I am a 58 yo married woman with post-graduate education and a successful business. I’ve been married for 30 years to “Daddy” although he has only officially had that title for the past couple of years. I have 2 grown daughters and 2 grown stepchildren and we are happy empty nesters.
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
We have always had a good sex life but pretty vanilla. Turns out we both had some non-vanilla fantasies that we began sharing over the last 10 years or so. We started experimenting with bondage about 5 years ago. We didn’t fully classify ourselves as D/s until maybe 2 years ago.
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
Submissive. Completely. I absolutely love the power exchange between myself and my dom. It makes every aspect of my life better although we keep the D/s dynamic mostly just sexually. Daddy gave me a cuff inscribed “owned” a couple years ago and I hope to never take it off.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
I need the actual bondage probably more emotionally but I physically want it too. However if an occasion arose that did not allow for actual physical bonds the emotional bonds would be enough for me.
What does BDSM mean to you: is it a lifestyle, a diversion, or something else?
I think of BDSM as a lifestyle kink with a spectrum of ways to experience it. It becomes more of a lifestyle the older I get but I think that’s more because of the added intimacy it gives my marriage.
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
The only partner I have experienced BDSM with is my husband. I am in a profession that plays a role in the local kink community and my experience of it through them is that it is widely accepted. The garbage that is “fifty shades of grey” has really boosted the acceptance of the practice although most in the kink community hated that book!
Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.
If by first bondage experience you mean actually getting tied up or physically restrained in some way, I have no idea. We have played with it somewhat for the last 10 years. It all begins to run together!
What was your best bondage experience?
Best bondage experience? I think that’s even harder. I love to be wrapped tightly in either straps or plastic wrap. I also fall into this peaceful bliss every time I am tied spread eagle on our bed. Every time one or both of us decides to try and stretch a boundary is very exciting. We have a lot of sex and on any given day I could say that’s the best I’ve ever had only to have it topped the next day.
What is the most creative safe word you have ever used?
We have only ever used NO as our safe word and it is rarely spoken.
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
Most important for me is the power exchange between myself and my daddy. It wasn’t until I read a lot about the dynamic of a good D/s relationship, ie power exchange, that I real,y felt completely free to give into it. It became more than just kink for me. It is the most free I have ever felt and that trust my husband and I share has brought our sex life and marriage to a whole new level.
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Best advice would to be read up a bit before you start to play. If you are with a partner already, talk a lot about it. What one person perceives as bondage might be very different than someone else’s. Make sure you both know the different parts or scenes in BDSM, especially sub-space and aftercare. If you are starting to experiment with new partners or just hook ups you have to be really careful. Handing a pair of cuff links and a whip to someone you don’t REALLY know can be really dangerous.
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
Hands down the black leather breast binder. My husband loves it and I love how it feels on. It starts as kind of an intense..hug. By the time he takes it off of me I am usually at a fairly high pain or discomfort level. But mostly because daddy loves it!
What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
Hmmm, fantasies... So many to choose from. My fantasies seem to be turning more to humiliation so I would love to be collared, leashed and walked in a public area however I have no idea where that could take place. I’d like to be naked and tied to a tree in my front yard for a day but pretty sure this is not something the homeowners association would be fine with. I would like to be used by other men or put on display by my husband where he would use or humiliate me. Again, not very realistic. My husband would like to brand me, small, tasteful brand, and this interests me too but don’t think my pain tolerance is quite there yet. My husband would really like me to give him a blow job on a clothing optional beach and that is one I think will happen sooner rather than later.
If you had to be trapped in a tv show for a month, which would you choose and why?
Tv show question is maybe the hardest. Maybe West World because that is stepping into a world of fantasy where you can reinvent yourself over and over again. I would love to try on different people and maybe do things I otherwise couldn’t imagine or just too chicken to try.
