I’m going to tell you a secret it took me a long time to learn– happiness, just like truth, isn’t out there. It comes from within. Some have taken it onto themselves to pursue happiness. But babe, happiness isn’t something you catch like the flu. It’s not something you chase after. Happiness is something you choose for your life.
Here’s an example. A man is arguing with his wife. They’re contradicting each other. They’re blaming each other. The man is insisting that his opinion is the only possible correct answer, and he refuses to listen to what his wife has to say. Pause here. This man has just painted himself into a very lonely corner. He may win the argument, yes, but what is he willing to lose in the process?
Though you have won an argument, you have lost some of your partner’s respect, or even perhaps even some of their love. If you always put your own satisfaction over someone else’s feelings, prepare to be pretty lonely.
Now, relationships are not perfect, and disagreements are sometimes necessary. It is part of a healthy relationship as long as it is done with mutual respect. But the best way to move forward after a disagreement is compromise. You can both agree to disagree and still continue respecting each other’s differences. However, an argument should never take precedence over happiness or peace of mind. Especially if the argument is something as superficial as an un-done chore, being late, or some annoying personal habit. Are you willing to choose winning over the emotional and physical connection you have with your partner?
If you find yourself wanting to nitpick over some detail about your daily life, I suggest that you step back and think. Would nitpicking make you happy? Would nitpicking make your lover feel miserable? You’ll have to make a change to be conscious of avoiding saying things that could hurt someone else. But more importantly, it means you care enough to consider someone else’s happiness than your own. This is huge!
Choosing to not let life’s little bumps affect you negatively is one way of opting to be happy. Everything in our lives is temporary, if we want it to be. A parking ticket or a dirty dish doesn’t have to wreck your day if you don’t allow it to do so.
And as this is me talking, I of course have to add that good sex adds to one’s quality of life. Having sex is a key way to support your physical and mental wellness! It relieves stress and releases endorphins. Would you believe that sex is also linked to having a long life? A nine-year study done on men aged 17 years old and above showed that having low mortality is connected to having a healthy sex life. Sexually engaged lovers are also happier and have a stronger connection. Having a solid and positive sexual relationship with your lover produces an emotional, mental, psychological bond that no one, and nothing, can put asunder.
If you or your partner is having problems with sex due to a multitude of reasons such as chronic disease, medications, or mental health, etc., relax. There are solutions available. The same goes if your sex life is changing as you get older. There are support groups or institutions who are willing to help you deal with any matters that are halting you from living your best life – either inside or outside the bedroom.
Feel free to ask a doctor you trust or a therapist. A trained professional can help you determine not just the ‘what’s’ of your issues but also the ‘why’s’. Getting to the root of your problems is one way to help bring it to light and possibly solve it.
All in all, one way to choose to be happy is by being giving – physically and emotionally. Be mutually affectionate. Connect in meaningful ways. Your sex life will be positively memorable and your relationship will tremendously deepen. It’s a win-win situation for everyone.
