The good thing about living in these modern times is you are experimenting things your ancestors would have never dreamed. For instance, could you have imagined trans people dating freely 80 years ago? Even though we have a long way to go, we should be thankful our society is becoming freer every day.
Transgendered people are people who identify themselves with the opposite biological sex they were born with. Usually they start to know pretty early on in life as if they are not in the right body for their mind…there are some cases that even as young as two year olds can start to show signs of this.
When they are older, they usually choose to undergo a medical process to correct this biological mishap and then boom! We have either a trans woman or a trans man. Now, as you may imagine if you have not experienced it on your own, the whole process can be quite challenging and a pretty important step on their lives.
Some trans people start dating when they are taking hormones, while others wait to date until they have undergone the genital assignment surgery-if they choose to have one. There is no written rule; if you are trans, you can start dating as long as you feel comfortable doing it.
Most people wait until they feel they can ‘pass’ as their preferred sex. This means that when people walk around on the street they assume and think of someone as a (let’s say woman) when they are still biologically (let’s say male). Keep in mind this process usually takes years, so that is why is such a personal choice for every one.
When it comes to dating, the most important thing to keep in mind is the one element that should always reign supreme in every relationship, no matter the nature or details of said relationship: honesty. Some people feel comfortable saying right of the bat when they meet someone they are trans, while others wait until the end of the date to disclosure that detail. If we are talking about online dating profiles, it is the same thing. Others opt to put it right there on their profile, while others wait to engage in conversation with someone to tell them. No matter what, the important thing here is talking about as early as you can because that potential partner needs to take that into consideration as soon as possible.
On the other hand, a lot of trans people end up dating a lot within the trans community or with people they have met through the transition process. This obviously makes the whole ‘coming out’ thing easier because well, they don’t need to tell them they are trans, obviously.
Sexual orientation can be a tricky subject for many trans people. So it is important to know it may take them a while to understand where they stand on that topic. It is quite common that at the end of they day, they don’t really care about their partner’s sexual orientation. What is important to them is chemistry and if they like each other. If you are trans, know that whatever it is you choose, there is not a written guide so take your time and follow your heart and instincts!
So, how you should react when someone tells you they are trans? A lot of people may feel inclined to experience surprise and say something like ‘oh it didn’t crossed my mind because you look so feminine/masculine’ but although this could look like a compliment of paper, it is not nice. That is because the person may feel like they should look in some particular way; besides, commenting on anybody’s appearance is not nice. So you could begin by starting a conversation around their feelings and experiences around the whole thing. Whatever you do, just don’t ask them: ‘do you have a penis? Do you have a vagina? Do you have boobs?’ Because that is plain rude!
