If you have found yourself with a growing interest in the BDSM lifestyle, role playing, bondage sex, discipline or any of the other facets of what I consider a fun and active sex life; then you probably have come into contact with a lot of terms and acronyms that make no sense to you. Welcome to the love language of the sexually exciting.
Like any other group of people, participants in BDSM have developed particular words and phrases to explain their interests, activities and preferences. Those who are active understand these terms and those who are just looking into it think it is confusing.
Let me clear up some of the confusion. I am going to explain what some of the most common acronyms and terms related to BDSM role play mean.
- B&D
Truthfully, most of the words are pretty easy to understand. But many of them have been shortened to acronyms just to make it simpler. B&D is one of those. It can be used in two different ways. B&D could mean bondage and dominance. Or it could be the more commonly used bondage and discipline. Bondage is when one party, the submissive, is bound by one of many materials. They may be handcuffed, tied or otherwise contained. Most will be bound to a bed or other stable item, but sometimes it can get a little kinkier. Discipline is exactly what it appears to be. Subs are trained through a series of disciplinary actions. It could be as simple as spanking, but generally those into role play go much further than a simple smack on the ass.
- S&M
While this acronym is most widely known for being the title of a hit song, it actually does have a meaning. And if you pay attention to the words of the song, it won't be too hard to understand. S&M stands for sadism and masochism. Generally speaking, it is about pain. It is about the dominant's pleasure at giving pain and the submissive's pleasure at receiving pain. S&M involves things like nipple clamps, whips, floggers, canes and the ever popularized by a certain book we love riding crop.
- D&S
Anyone interested in BDSM in any way should understand the D&S roles. That is because D&S stands for dominance and submission. These are the core foundation of BDSM. Regardless of how much one incorporates into their role play, or how little they may be willing to do, one thing stands firm. You cannot have BDSM without dominance and submission. One party must be the dominant party, or the one in charge of the festivities. One party must be the submissive party, or the one that is relinquishing control.
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Top
There are many sexual lifestyles in which you hear the phrase top to describe someone. While the BDSM version of top is very similar, and sometimes identical, to the standard idea; it is not always so. Top is often thought to mean the one that is on top during sex. It is the one giving and not the one receiving. In BDSM it goes a bit further. The top is the person in charge. It is the dom. It is not necessarily who is physically on top. It is who is the one tying up or spanking. Who is making the call as to what happens.
- Bottom
Now that you've established what a top is, it makes bottom easier to understand. The bottom is the submissive. They are the one that is bound and gagged. The one that is told what to do. They are the person receiving the actions. Typically, they are also the person on the physical bottom of the interaction.
