I grew up in an all female household. I was never told that a woman couldn’t do something. I had always assumed that I could do whatever I set my mind to. And I felt that it was true for everyone.It never occurred to me that I was being oppressed or that I was not equal. I never once looked at a man and though “they have it easier”. I didn’t feel it was easier to be a man. It was just “different”.
Years later as an adult, I feel the same but am even more passionate about feminism now. As a female, I own my own power and along with that my sexuality. I know who I am and what I am. Exactly. There are no pretenses or perhaps with it. I am a sexually submissive female. But only to the right male. *wink* I consider myself an Alpha female. I will not shrink from things because I am a submissive. Instead I must run with the wolves in the pale moonlight. It is my preference to defer sexually to my mate.
If you think this makes me weaker or simple minded you would be wrong. I own fully who I am. What I prefer sexually is a part of who I am. There is no apologizing for it. And I won’t stand for anyone who degrades someone or makes them feel inferior for what their sexual preferences are. If someone has a problem with your sexuality. It is just that. Their problem.
There is nothing wrong with you and you are not something less because of what you are. It is who you are. Sexuality is the very core of our nature. Perhaps some would say it is our truest self. Just because I submit in the bedroom does not mean that I submit in other forms. By nature I am a fighter. I believe in equality, human rights and the inherit dignity in each and every human being.
If one were to mistake my sexually submissive nature as being submissive in all things, then the mistake would be theirs. Yes, I fully enjoy bondage. I love the feeling of rope and you could hear my squeal of delight 3 miles away when we first made our Tiffany Blue Bondage Gear. (I think I may have woken up a few towns when we tried it out later that night….*wink*)
Life should be about love, laughter, happiness, fulfillment and the best possible sex you have. No one else is responsible for your sexuality. You have to own it. And you have to own yourself before you can allow yourself to be truly “owned” by someone else. It is much the same with love. In order to truly love someone, you have to find self love. And I’m not just referring to masturbation (thank you Madonna for all the songs about that…we love you…).
As a woman, I can understand how some may feel I am victimized by my sexuality. And to them, I have nothing but a shake of the head and a laugh. I am not way a victim. I am the victor. How many woman can say they have over ten orgasms (easily) when they have sex? I can make this claim. Does that make me weak or just make my husband Superman…..you decide….*shocked gasp* I don’t need the ropes, straps, gags and all the other goodies to have a good time, but in the immortal words of Ferris Bueller, “if you have the means, I highly recommend it”.
So, I would ask….who really is the victim? Is the woman who owns her sexuality and is fully present in the moment. Or is it the woman who hides behind a “secret self” of what she feels she must project to the world? And the same goes for men.
I know quite a few very strong, very proud, very amazing (and quite sexy) submissive males. They run auto body shops, machine shops, classrooms full of rowdy college students, Fortune 500 companies and even hold political offices. Did I mention I happen to know a few famous actors who are regular customers who would love to do a broadcast for our cock cages, if only their agents would let them?
I never give out names, but I assure you….if you knew what I knew…. You would be thrilled. Some of the manliest men enjoy bondage. And there is everything right with it.
Just as being a sexually submissive does not make me less, but instead gives me great personal power, so does being a sexually submissive male. That is…if you own it. No one is responsible for your sexuality but you. If you do not know what you want, then it is your responsibility to find it. Let your mind wander and see where it goes. Allow for your fantasy to become a reality in a positive and sensual way.
The key to power is self-knowledge. When you allow yourself to truly have self knowledge and to love and accept yourself for who you truly are is when life really starts to get interesting. And the orgasms get much better.
Perhaps Gloria Steinem needed a man like a fish needs a bicycle but I can tell you for me that is not true. I need my husband and I’m still a feminist. And might I just add, that the ultimate in femism even got married herself. And if there is a ball gag in her nightstand drawer, well…that makes her even more of a feminist for taking her power. Is through choosing who to give our sensual power to that we ourselves truly become powerful. Our body. Our selves. Our Choice.
Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning. - Gloria Steinem
Autumn's Irrelevant P.S. - How do you know a fish doesn't need a bicycle? Have you asked the fish? Maybe they would like to go out for ice cream and just can't do it because they don't have a bicycle. If you really loved your fish, you would get them a moped. Like a cute one. Did I mention I have a 1965 Vespa? I've never taken it out to ice cream. I guess I just need to meet a fish and we can make it date.
