Deciding to have a threesome is an important step that can bring many benefits to your relationship. But to make the most out of such an experience, you need to choose the guest you plan to invite in your bedroom the right way. And finding the best person for a threesome can be challenging, especially if you never tried this type of sex scene before. If you are thinking to try something like this, here are a few aspects to consider before you choose the right third person to join you in the bedroom.
Make sure that both you and your lover are on the same page
Talk to your lover and see if you both agree with the idea of having such an experience. You might be thrilled to add some diversity to your sex life but that doesn’t mean that your partner agrees with you. Having a throughout conversation before you take action on this thought will help both of you get on a common ground when it comes to engaging in such a sex scene. If your lover has a complete different opinion than yours, respect it and accept it because you can’t do much if they are not ready for such an experience. However, if you feel that they are not sure about it, bring them some valuable arguments that will help them make up their mind.
Decide between having a threesome with a man or a woman
Once you reached a common understanding and you know that both of you want to try out a threesome, you will have to decide if you want such an experience with a man or a woman. Whatever you decide, know that there are many advantages to both situation so you can only win. If one of you is bisexual, it should be easier to choose what gender you guest should have. This type of negotiation will empower your relationship and help you learn more about each other, especially on the sexual side. You can decide to have a threesome with a man once and a woman the next time in order to see what type of sex scene you like the most.
Set up your limits
We all have our limits when it comes to our sex life and the experiences we want to try. And even if both you and your lover are excited at the idea of having a guest in your bedroom, this doesn’t means that you agree on all the sexual activities that might take place in such an experience. For instance talk to your lover and see how you both feel about anal sex. If you both want to try that, get an anal plug or a dildo to have handy during the threesome. Same for restraint systems such as rope, tape or any other bondage restraint toys. It is best to not be taken by surprise during such a sexual encounter and be prepared for what might happen during such a sex scene. This will make you sure that everyone involved in the experience will enjoy it just as much.
Decide on a safe word or action
If you are into BDSM fetishes and fantasies, you know that having a safe word or a safe action is essential, at least when you are a beginner in the matter. But when you are trying a threesome with a new partner, safe words or actions are a must. This will help you be in control of what is going on and use it every time you are not feeling comfortable with what is going on between you, your lover and the guest you have in your bedroom. So, establish such a word that everyone is aware of and use it as often as you feel in order to express yourself during the sex scene. Some people use safe words when they don’t feel comfortable in a certain position o if they don’t enjoy it as much as they would like to. This will save all of you from a lot of awkward moments and you will not even have to explain much. Your partner will change the course of events as soon as they hear the safe word.
Choosing a guest to join you for a threesome might not be easy but it is definitely worth it. As a thumb rule, you should go for a person that you both feel attracted to. This is extremely important for the success of the experience. If your lover is not comfortable with sharing their sexuality with the new partner, things will not be as satisfying, even if you might still like the sex scene. This is why it is important to decide over such a situation together and make sure you compromise as little as possible.
