Meet Indigo's Pet

Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you be describe your everyday vanilla life?

I work and teach in information security. Beyond all of the studying and random hacking that entails, I read and listen to trashy fiction, watch mostly bad television shows, annoy the cat, and of course tease my Owner.

Both, certainly, though in different ways at different times. I'm physically more comfortable in restraints of any sort, and enjoy napping or sleeping in bondage like being chained to the bed or locked in my cage. This is pleasant and comfortable even when it's self-motivated, and that's been true for many years.

When She ties, clips, or directs me ... or just holds me down ... it helps me feel wanted emotionally and is physically stimulating as well. Plus, She likes it quite a bit too and that is good for me in every way...

Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?

To some degree or another, everyone I've ever been with has been at least a little kinky. All of my recent relationships have been dominant and submissive based and have involved some toys, though in one case we both switched and took turns topping week by week. She was a much better top than me, but it was pretty fun while we could keep it going. Still, not everyone has the same kinks and very few people actually want or need lifestyle D/S.

Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.

Earliest memories of solo fun in bed at home late at night are playing with inexpensive handcuffs, shoelaces, and perhaps a borrowed brassiere. I was young enough that my option for toys was very limited. I didn't take a jump rope into bed with me, but I did practice tying it around me in daylight.

Now that I think of it one of my first times playing with anyone also involved making out with someone and putting some metal handcuffs on her. That was around about the same time I had a nice scene involving little more than a choke chain dog collar that was not on my neck. My, freshman year seems terribly exciting in retrospect. And a bit unsafe... Internet educational resources and online toy stores have made things much better for everyone!

What was your best bondage experience?

The last one? ... Whatever my Owner did last? ... She is reading these, after all. In fact the writing might be delayed ...

What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?

It's not a word per se, but apparently the reaction I have to electro-stim makes her stop. Of course that's because it makes her laugh so hard she can hardly breathe so it's not like I'm safeword'ing out.

I've never been creative about safewords and I am commonly too dumb to use one, though I have used "yellow" a time or two.

What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?

I feel safe and comfortable in even light restraints. In our relationship Her taking the time to pick out toys and put them on me is a powerful signal of Her attention and that she is taking some care for my pleasure when she has Her fun. She enjoys just throwing me on the bed or even sneaking up behind me, all of which is quite fun, and yet I always want more bondage, more attention.

What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?

Be willing to try new things ... first safely by yourself, and then with a friend or partner (with their consent, of course). If it's fun for everyone then do it again.

Assignments are really powerful for me, so you could start there. Writing assignments and role playing are both good ways to explore what kinds of play (which toys!) will work for you in complete safety. Ask/command your partner to build an online wishlist and share it with you ... often the shopping and fantasies get us into trouble by themselves. Then later the toys arrive and we have to try everything!

One fun easy assignment that most anyone can do is "what are you wearing?” This works over any distance now that everyone has camera phones. Combining that with Her picking out things for me to wear even when she is away really helps us stay connected and has made for some of her favourite pictures.

What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?