Having a new partner it’s always exciting and a bit nerve wracking as well. You don’t know what they enjoy in bed or what turns them on and they don’t know those things about you either. But the good part is, it’s extremely fun to experiment what your sex life will look like. Now, if you’re into bondage, in whatever degree you like, things can take a different turn and it will add a whole new layer to the experience. So, how do you approach the subject of bondage to a new partner?
The important thing to keep in mind is to talk about it before you try anything. Suddenly springing up a pair of handcuffs or tying them to the bed without them knowing can appear somewhat exciting, but keep in mind in these cases, the element of surprise it’s not always welcomed.
Be confident and approach the subject openly. Remember trust is the key to any relationship, so it’s best to start with an open mind and keep your partner’s (and yours!) feelings into account at all times in order for everyone to be happy. Let them ask as much questions as they want and be very open and honest when you’re answering their doubts.
So, how can you first bring up the subject? Well, you can begin by asking them about their fantasies and go from there; common ground it’s a great place to start. Something else you can try is simply ask them about something in particular you have in mind; for instance, “would you like to try a blindfold in bed?” “Or how would you feel if we use a (insert sex toy/prop) during sex?” If you want to see what they think first, you can always begin by asking them about something they want to try or a prop that draws their attention.
Once you start talking about it you will see how easy it actually flows. If you don’t know where to start, it may be helpful to ask some things like: do any of you have a preference about who should be using the props on the other or both are ok either way? If you don’t know, you can try it both ways, one with you being the dominant and then another time the other way around. Another thing you may want to consider is whether both of you are ok with being on restraints and whether you are interested in sensory play, enhanced foreplay or a mix of both. If you are completely blank about those questions, the best place to start is to experiment and try to see what you guys like wink*.
