I'm always looking for new ways to increase and heighten sexual awareness and pleasure. And I'm sure I am not the only one interested; in fact I would bet everyone is constantly looking for ways to, well, feel better. And the new thing I've found to enjoy things a little bit more (yes, it's possible to enjoy it even more) is by practicing sexual meditation. It may sound a little intimidating at first, but I can assure you it's actually quite easy to learn and reap the benefits in no time. Come with me in this journey to heighten your senses and sexual pleasure:
First you want to find a quiet place for you and your partner to meditate. The idea is for you find a place with no distractions and open to relaxation. You could try doing it in your bedroom, dim the lights (maybe light some candles), turn off the electronic devices (your phone will survive!) and set up somewhere comfortable to sit on. You could put some cushions or pillows on the floor or sit on the bed, close to each other but not completely smoldered, you'll want to give yourself some room.
Then you should find a comfortable position. This could either be laying down or in a lotus position, whatever you guys find more comfortable. And remember to wear loose clothing or maybe nothing at all. Keep your back straight, head and chin aligned with your spine and your arms relaxed. Close your eyes and pay attention to your surroundings and breathing, trying to put aside other thoughts and just focus on the now and what your senses are perceiving. Try to keep other thoughts are bay, focus on just breathing and sensing rather than thinking.
Take deep breaths and try to keep a rhythm, really mean the breaths you take. This means you should really pull the air down into your belly when you breathe in and put some effort into actually exhale all the air out of your body. A nice trick is to imagine all the stress leaving your body as you do this, by the way. Be aware of your body is feeling and all the different body parts. Usually we go through life without paying attention to all the fragments that make up our body and allow us to do the things we do daily, so be aware of how your legs, arms, toes, etc. are feeling.
As you start to get into it, visualize your body's energy. You could picture the attraction for your partner as red, for example. As you start meditating you'll find yourself more aware of you body an its sensations, yes, including sexual arousal.
Then, you can start visualizing your partner and their body and emotions. After your finished, you can open your eyes and look into your lover's eyes. Notice their breathing pattern and the movements of their bodies. Don't talk, try to connect with your partner non-verbally; use your eyes, hands, face and expressions to communicate how you are feeling and focus on your partner's feelings as well. After this meditation (usually 20 minutes are enough) you can transition to sex. Afterwards see how this experience affected the sexual intercourse; if you guys found it more enjoyable, start practicing it more frequently!
After you have tried sexual meditation you could find yourself craving more (don't we all? Haha) I'm talking about wanting to experience more heightened forms of this mix of sexuality and meditation. And you could find yourself trying out Taoist sexual meditation…Oh, sorry I guess I just starting talking about myself, giggles*. Here are some tips to get into it:
- The focus of Taoist sexual meditation is the merger of yours and your partner sexual desires. To do this you can start by merging you and your partners breathing, matching the breathing pattern so you two start breathing at the same time.
- Then you can softly squeeze your lover's hand with a smooth rhythm. Your partner can do the same with your hand, make sure to match and use the same rhythm.
If you want to take it even further, you could try incorporating a few tantric practices. Tantric sex uses sex to meditate, so it makes perfect sense to incorporate it into your practice. You could gaze into your lover's eyes while you are having sex (and don't look away during the climax! That's the best part, I swear wink*) Or you could try alternating breaths with your partner. This means you could breath in while they are breathing out and so on. Just try to get into the real world sometime, love. We do miss you, wink*
