Guide to Collars for BDSM Beginners

Collars are a way of demonstrating the commitment between partners in the BDSM community. In a sense, they symbolize the bond between two people in a BDSM relationship. It is like a wedding or formalized union. They are saying, ‘I am yours,’ but instead of a ring around a finger, it is a collar around the neck. As a matter of fact, it is comparable and has the same significance as a marriage in the vanilla world. All the same, a collar is the highest level of commitment and it is never taken lightly between the people involved. It is the real deal.

While you will have several types of collars to choose from, it is often the dominant partner who chooses the collar for their submissive partner. The collar of protection is generally given when their partner has been a victim of an abusive relationship. But sometimes the same collar can also be given after the partner has left a failed relationship. The idea behind this type of collar is for the person who has suffered to know their partner is protective of them and no one can approach them without asking permission first from their dominant. This allows the person to heal in her or his own time as they know their partner will protect them no matter what. It provides them with a sense of security, so they are not worried about any form of harm coming their way. One more thing you should know, it is usually only the expert dominants who offer this kind of protection, so a lot of people come back to them when they need it.

The training collar is made to symbolize a submissive in training or someone who is still learning. The submissive wears a black leather collar with several ring attachments. In this case, the training collar doesn’t signify a bond between the person wearing it and the person who put it on them. Its main purpose is for the submissive to feel the power of the dominant as they go through training. Hence, the collar indicates a power exchange. This type of collar is helpful when you want to communicate to the submissive they are doing something wrong. For instance, if the submissive is not behaving properly then the dominant can pull on the leash attached to the collar to make them behave themselves.

The collar of consideration is given when the dominant wants someone to be their submissive or slave. When a person accepts a collar of consideration from a dominant, it means he or she will not look for another dominant. Moreover, this type of collar should be worn every hour of the day to serve as a reminder of the connection between the dominant and the submissive. However, this collar doesn’t really have any use in some parts of the BDSM community. It is because some people prefer to simply give the collar of ownership right away. In this case, you can think of the collar of ownership like a kind of engagement ring.

The highest form of compromise in the BDSM community is the collar of ownership. This type of collar is given when training has been completed successfully and only if the submissive and the dominant want to take the relationship to the next level. Keep in mind this is like a wedding ring, so a collar of ownership should not be taken lightly. Their significance is immense, hence the reason for collaring ceremonies when offering this type of collar. However, if for some reason down the line the submissive wants to leave the relationship, they should return the collar to their dominant partner or master.

So, with a twist to what they say: ‘If you liked it, then you shoulda put a collar on it’ wink*

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