Us Lesbians can be a bit old-fashioned. I’ve encountered a lot of us who have never tried toys, or maybe did but simply don’t like them. Personally, I find old-fashion a bit too boring; two fingers and a tongue can only do so much. But with the help of a few items, things can become a lot more entertaining. Even if you aren’t a hardcore fan of toys and whatnot, there’s still a list of things that can be quite useful for beginners.
1. Outfits
Sure, I know outfits are meant to be torn off – or taken off, depending on your way of things – but where’s the fun in wearing sweatpants and an oversized tee? Maybe try a sexy set of bra and panties, or suits, or even costumes sometime. There’s no wrong way to go there, I’m sure your partner would agree. If you’re only starting out now, I’d suggest you start with a sexy bra and panties which can do the trick. You could even maybe strip to some good smooth music while you make your partner watch.
2. Handcuffs
Everyone’s biggest turn on is watching their partner’s pleasure rising to its brink, at least that’s what does it for me! So I’d recommend restraining your partner – but only with her own consent – and dragging your lips along her neck and collarbone, leaving kisses and nips, before making your way further down her body. Watch her arousal increase before even considering uncuffing her!
3. Dildos, strap-ons, vibrators, and the whole shebang.
I can confidently say that dildos of all sorts have to be my favorites, and the more powerful the vibration the more exciting they are for me, but of course this all depends on your own and your partner’s sensitivity. Usually I leave them until after I do step one and step two, because the higher the arousal the better the outcome, right?
Recommending a specific item is a little bit tricky, because the experience varies from one person to another and it all depends on preferences. Whatever you like, there’s a toy for it. The sky’s the limit!
4. Blindfolds
I think this part is initially about trust, although handcuffs are too, but blindfolding someone – or getting blindfolded, whichever tickles your fancy – is all about how much your partner trusts you or you trust them, to know the weak spots and the breaking point. So set a list of do’s and don’t’s – or don’t! – And try letting your senses get heightened by your partner.
5. Whips
Blindfolds and handcuffs can go hand in hand with the next best thing: whips. Pain can actually be quite fun if administered correctly and in the right amounts. I’m certain you’d agree that that one time your girlfriend’s fingernails dragged down your back felt extremely arousing, whips can have that exact same effect on you and your partner, if not more. The trick is to use a code-word for when pain goes too far, and to know the points where using the whip can arouse the two of you.
Last but not least, if the toys you’re looking for are for yourself, or your partner, or both, there will be a few things to keep in mind. First, use protection - especially if the toys are shared. Whether you and your partner are committed or not should not matter. There’s reassurance in taking safety measures. Second, never forget lubrication! The female body can do quite a lot of miracles during its arousal providing a good amount of lubrication, but a small bottle on the nightstand never hurts anyone. And the third, but equally as important – if not golden – rule of bondage, is the safe word, or code word. To each their limitations, and although starting out in this path may seem intriguing, it may not feel the same for your partner, so set some ground rules and a word for both you and your partner to share when things go too far. Sex isn’t pleasurable for either party without it.
Enjoy!
