Please tell us a little bit about yourself – How would you describe your everyday vanilla life?
Russell: Honestly pretty average! I’m known a lot more for being the local nerdy comedian than anything else. I spend most of my time writing fiction and coming up with terrible jokes to make all of my friends groan over.
Angel: Friendly and sweet! Basically, my coworkers and friends would never suspect this side of me in a million years. I like smoothies and sitting outside with my laptop when it’s nice. I’m confident and loving, and my phone consists of pictures of food, pictures of dogs, and pictures of cats. (It’s because all of the naughty and scandalous ones get deleted immediately, just in case! =P )
When did you first realize you were into bondage?
Russell: It kind of started young for me -- I kept re watching the infamous Slave Leia bits from Return of the Jedi, and it kind of got a lot more solidified when I found my father’s book of “stories” in his room one day. I read and reread the kinky ones, and that influenced the videos I eventually got into. Sort of just snowballed from there!
Angel: In retrospect, I’d probably been interested as long as I can remember. I’d always loved the movies and stories with the “damsels in distress” being tied down and helpless, and I loved pretending to be those damsels, though it took me far longer to admit that out loud to anyone! I was actually much older before a partner actually introduced me to BDSM as a whole and gave a name to what I’d been fascinated by all those years. Believe me, it was quite exciting to know I wasn’t alone in all of this!
Russell: We both kept it very much on the down-low though since we both come from conservative settings. It took us eight years of friendship to realize that about each other.
How you best describe yourself and why? Your choices are: Dominant, Submissive, Switch or Fuzzy Rainbow Unicorn.
Russell: Dominant. It’s a combination of things for me -- it’s important for me to be the protector, the guardian, all of that, and that jives very well with someone willingly submitting themselves to my protection, weakening themselves for me. Secondly, and this ties in with me being a top, is that nothing excites me more than driving my lover wild, making her go crazy with mind-numbing orgasms. Much easier to do that when they’re trussed up and tied down!
Angel: I’m a submissive! I guess I also count as a bottom for the most part? The short of it is that I like having things done to me! Ropes and chains and vibrators, oh my! In my opinion, subs have all the fun! But the more elaborate answer is that I tend to be such a put-together and self-sufficient person in my vanilla life that it’s very nice to be able to willingly surrender all of that control over to someone, and have them take care of everything for a change. I like the feeling of being helpless and vulnerable, and it’s not something I feel often at all.
Do you feel that your desire for bondage is more physical or emotional? (please elaborate)
Russell: It’s pretty half-and-half. The submission of a powerful woman turns me on to no end, and I crave that physical rush, but… I might say that the emotional needs just edge that aspect out. I take my role as protector very seriously, and it fulfills me on levels I can’t even describe to have someone partnering with me in the day-to-day and submitting to me behind closed doors.
Angel: Hmm… I’d have to say more emotional! Maybe a 75/25 split with the physical. While I definitely enjoy all of the physical sensations, wearing a collar is no different from wearing any other necklace until I become immersed in the emotional symbolism of giving up my power and choosing to feel weak and helpless. To put it succinctly: shackles are only very heavy bracelets unless I allow myself to be bound by them, and that is a very emotional choice to me.
Were lovers accepting of your interest in bondage?
Russell: More or less -- I have only ever had a few lovers. My first lover was really my first BDSM experience, and it was honestly a good exploratory period for me! But we had different reasons for doing it, and ultimately I don’t think it was very emotionally fulfilling for either of us.
Angel: Yes! It was in fact a previous lover who first introduced me to the concept, and helped me explore my interests in this area. I was very shy about it at first, but I learned that it was okay to express my desires and talk about my fantasies, even if I felt that they were unconventional! I think I was very fortunate that I was able to come into my own in an environment that was safe and accepting of all of my questions and curiosities.
Russell: My current lover -- the lovely Angel -- is actually something of a funny story. She initially turned me down because she wanted her next relationship to be with a dom. She had no idea, and she was more than accepting when I set her straight. =D
Please briefly describe your first bondage experience.
Russell: Pretty standard! We sort of pussyfooted around the subject for a while (neither of us wanting to seem ‘weird’), but eventually we agreed on some light restraints, some blindfolding, and a bit of roleplay. And it just went from there!
Angel: Oh, dear… I think I was half fascinated, and half terrified! My partner had more experience than I did, and all I mostly had to do was lie back and watch. So many knots everywhere! At the time, I still wasn’t sure what I liked, so we kept it very simple and casual - I think I recall that my hands were tied behind my back, and even that was such a thrill! I don’t remember much more than that, but it was obviously enough to keep me wanting more!
What was your best bondage experience?
Russell: Something of a roleplayed scene! She wanted to be chased and jumped, so I happily chased her around the house for a good fifteen minutes before I managed to nab her. It was just good fun, like the world’s sexiest game of tag. I never enjoyed the super dark and gritty “deviant BDSM” you see in movies, since in my experience it’s a heck of a lot funnier!
Angel: Not a specific time, per se, but I always love it when I get to wrestle before my partner ultimately pins me down! Sometimes I am well-behaved and stay still, and I am a good pet when he is binding me, but I have such fun when I’m told to run away and struggle and fight. Now that is a game that I love to lose!
What is the most creative safeword you have ever used?
Russell: I suggested “glockenspiel.” She didn’t go for it. ={
Angel: Did we do “pineapple” that one time? Or maybe it was “broccoli”...
What do you feel is most important about the experience of bondage?
Russell: It is absolutely, without exception, the element of trust. It’s trust fall: the hobby, and being able to be so open and honest with another person is such a freeing thing. You’re not holding anything back -- and for an open and honest relationship (as all BDSM should be), that’s the best possible thing.
Angel: Definitely trust. But I’ll also add “doing your research!” Bondage and BDSM sound super fun, but there are so many physical and emotional risks involved that anyone wanting to play needs to know what they’re doing, whether that means having a very thorough conversation about expectations and roles, or doing a whole lot of reading and asking around before trying anything new. Bondage is not a good place for un-negotiated surprises, and it is definitely not a good place for “just winging it.”
What is the best advice you would give to someone just starting out with BDSM?
Russell: Study. Study, study, study. A thousand times study. It’s not just about knowing something, it’s about knowing why it is the way it is. Why there are safe words, why you don’t want to do single rope ties, why suspension needs so much preparation. BDSM can be dangerous, but like any fun and risky hobby you can majorly mitigate that just by following some ground rules!
Angel: “Talk about it!” Ask your questions and don’t be afraid to express your concerns! One of my biggest hurdles to overcome was fearing that I would somehow disappoint or upset my partner if I didn’t want to do something that he wanted to do, or if I wanted it done differently. It stopped me from negotiating, and as a result, it stopped me from having the scenes I wanted to have. I’m much better about it now, and if I had known that I could discuss all of this so freely, I think I could have been having a lot more fun a lot sooner!
What is your favorite gear, toy or lingerie item from sub-shop.com and why?
Russell: The leather straitjacket-esque armbinder. Easily the fastest I’ve ever been driven to finishing.
Angel: I fell instantly in love with those beautiful locking metal cuffs! I have a cheeky tendency to wiggle out of my restraints behind my partner’s back, and it’s wonderful to have something that I definitely can’t sneak out of on my own! Plus, they look and feel wonderful.
What is the one sensual fantasy you haven’t lived out yet that you are excited to try?
Russell: Exhibitionism! I would very much like to play in front of any kind of audience.
Angel: I’d like to undergo some manner of obedience training! The idea of being taught exactly how to please my dom is very exciting to me. Also, at some point I’d really like to have a whole weekend to ourselves to play. So many possibilities!
What’s your favorite knock-knock joke?
Russell: “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Hatch!” “Hatch who?” “Bless you!”
Angel: What about a joke in general? “What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?”
Is there anything else you would like to share with us such as advice, thoughts or more knock-knock jokes? We are all ears and ball gags.
Russell: BDSM is a wonderfully varied subject -- tops, bottoms, doms, subs, littles, pets, masters, etc.! It’s a big old ocean to explore, and I found the best way to handle it is with a sense of humor. Sometimes you might feel ridiculous ordering someone around who has a steel rabbit tail butt plug in them (on sale for $28.95!), and that’s alright.
To harken back to what I said earlier -- it’s okay to enjoy a laugh with your lover. In my experience, it only brings you closer.
Angel: Also, take advantage of the Deal Frenzies! Those are the best for hunting down all of the stuff I want to add to my collection!
What is Eskimo Ice?
Russell: I hope it’s a type of snow cone!
Angel: My bet’s on ice cream.
