Oh, the ever-constant pleasure of going down on a woman. I think there are a lot of things to be learned in this department, no matter how experienced you think you are. After all, you can never know too much about a subject, don’t you think so? And every woman is different, so you kind of need to figure out what works for someone in particular.
The main thing you need to know before going down on someone is to first ask her what she likes. Sometimes it is better to start this way because you want to make sure she will like what you are doing; sometimes you simply try to re-do something you have done before only to realize they don’t like it. Maybe you think your technique is foolproof, but the reality is every single woman is different; in short, don’t ever assume your partner will like what you plan to do.
Another important thing to know is women tend to hate it when their partner is focused on himself or herself; with oral sex you should always focus on your partner. You should put your attention on how her breath changes, how her body reacts when you do something in particular, etc. Observing the changes in her body is of utmost importance and the best way to gauge her reaction if what you are doing is working. Keep in mind chances are you are not seeing what you are doing because you are so close, so it is important to feel and guide yourself by instinct. The best reward is to see them having an orgasm after what you did… there is nothing more rewarding wink*
It is true some women will achieve an orgasm easier than others; just as every one has a particular taste unique to them. Some women prefer it when you combine some oral sex with some finger penetration, while others prefer just the tongue stimulation and, of course, always ask before inserting a toy. You also need to keep in mind oral sex is not just flicking your tongue forever; there is a technique involved in this.
Usually a bit of light tongue can be even better than pressing your tongue really hard for five minutes. Find the clitoris and try to create circles around it. Once you have figured out how sensitive she is, you can build up the pressure by tracing around the bud with your tongue. The build up is just as exciting and important in oral sex, so make sure to start slow and step up your speed. When she is pretty into it then you can always stick your tongue in her. This move will probably make her go crazy.
A great tip I can give you is to always be confident. Confidence is half the battle. If you are not very confident at first, just pretend to be comfortable and eventually you will be. If you don’t have much experience, you can definitely ask your partner for guidance. Maybe the first few times won’t be great, but she will appreciate your eagerness to learn and get better at it. And hey, if everything fails then you can always do some other thing you are good at instead of going down on her *wink*
And lastly, don’t feel the need to go down on someone just because you think you have to. Oral sex is not really mandatory, you only do it if you feel like it and you don’t need to feel pressured. It doesn’t matter what society says or what you think you need to do, if you don’t want to you then don’t do it, period. The important thing is to have a conversation with your partner about her expectations and your expectations.
